So I tend to call my critiques “nitpicking” a lot
Posted August 3, 2011on:
Trigger warning: unpleasant sexual experiences
But really, that’s more reclamation then any actual assertion that I’m picking at insignificant details.
‘cause, you know, actually, when you call oppressive forces “____phobia” and thus equate fear with a character flaw you’ve created an environment where someone who’s been bombarded with oppressive messages will assume that, by, say, having a fear of sex that probably came from bombardment with sex negativity, that this is being oppressive and just something they should get over.
OH HEY THAT MAKES NAVIGATING SEXUAL CONSENT REALLY HARD, HUH.
But nope, I’ve never gotten into a situation of feeling like I was required to consent to something because my revulsion towards said sex acts was obviously just me being a bigot and not ACTUALLY OOPS MAYBE THINGS THAT GIVE YOU PANIC ATTACKS ARE A BAD IDEA TO DO.
Oh yeah and I’ve had flashbacks about this.
So actually, that’s not nitpicking.
[Crossposting this from my tumblr because it’s important and I’m pissy about people deciding that I obviously am just an “ally” who has no personal stake in the issue making shit up to win activist points. If the academic analysis doesn’t appeal to you, maybe the “And here’s why I ended up having sex even though I was having panic attacks” will convince you. And yes, really, “erotophobia” is used for both sex negativity and, you know, having panic attacks when you try to have sex. HUH DO THESE HAVE MUCH IN COMMON I WONDER.
SO NO ACTUALLY I’M TRYING TO AVOID FURTHER ADDING TO MY RATHER ENORMOUS LIST OF TRAUMA, NOT WIN POINTS FROM MYSELF.]